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As you remember, if Mariah Carey gets her way, she will be $50 million richer, because that was the amount designated in her prenup with Australian billionaire James Packer.

If “The Emancipation of James Packer’s Money” actually succeeds, she should be lauded and perhaps feared as a powerful sorceress with reality-altering abilities. Because they never even got married! They didn’t even live together long enough for a palimony suit! She wants to be compensated for being briefly engaged! Hey, shaping underwear ain’t cheap!

TMZ reports that Mariah’s original prenup golden parachute was somewhat less than $50 million. Obviously, it wasn’t her sort of document, darling. In fact, she reportedly found James’ requirements for marrying him “tacky and insulting.” Here’s some of the details and I don’t get this “romance is dead” bullshit, because these beautiful and loving facts and figures were obviously dictated by Cupid himself.

Nothing says “I love you” like putting on that beautiful piece of jewelry he bought you, then hoping the inscription is followed by fine print that indicates your new bauble can legally be considered a gift, so he won’t be wrenching it back from you in court if things go sour.

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